Family Circus

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. - Doug Horton


Look what I can doo-doo!

Actually, Princess and Stinker should have spoken in stereo, because they both had excrement issues at the same time. Stinker, still in diapers *sigh*, now infamous for her fecal fingerpainting, gave us a scare again yesterday. She had her hands under the table, then produced a handful of poop that ruined our appetites. As I began cleaning up the baby, Princess passed me on the way to the bathroom. When I finished up with the pooptastrophe , I used HAZMAT tongs to carry the diaper out to the trash can next to the garage.
As I walked through the front door, Princess greeted me with a grim face. You know. The 'I did something stupid and I know that I'm gonna get in big trouble, but I don't want anyone else to suffer for my inappropriate behavior' kind of face. My seven year old sheepishly told me that she had used too much toilet paper, and now her toilet wouldn't flush. I brushed past her to inspect the damage: HOLYCOW! Sitting atop a pile of wet toilet tissue was a huge turd! One I thought would make Princess say, "Ya'll come look at this before I flush it!" I called in the resident expert on plumbing, and after seeing what I saw, DH asked me to go get the plunger. I'm thinking: Good Luck. More than 1 and 1/2 hours later, DH was flecked with sewage, he hauled out the drain snake and promised that the next 'tool' he'd use would be a Bazooka. DH actually pulled out a 4 oz plastic disposable cup that the girls use to rinse their mouths after brushing their teeth. Grrrr.
So I bleached the entire bathroom, floor to ceiling, cabinets, shelves, fixtures, mirror, toothbrushes, and tub toys at 11PM last night. I have a toilet that flushes like a champ with deep, steel-gray scratches in the white porcelain bowl that we bought two years ago. DH and I agreed that our next toilet will require a much larger exit for anything flushed. *SIGH*

Oh yeah. I case you missed our Christmas Episodes (yes, we had several), go check it out!


Erin: 31, Emcee. Witty redhead, handy with a whip.

DH: 30, Strong Man. Comedian, defender of virtue.

Halie: 7, Chimpanzee. Pulls teeth, loves bananas.

Catie: 5, Leaping Lemur. Gentle and cuddly, loves grapes.

Rosie: 2, Cappuccin. Flings poo, loves carrots.

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