Family Circus

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. - Doug Horton


Ban Guns?


  • (A) The number of doctors in the U.S. is 700,000
  • (B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000
  • (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%

Statistics courtesy of the U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services


  • (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000 (yes
    that's 80 million)
  • (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500
  • (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%

Statistics courtesy of the FBI

So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners. Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand. Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

Thanks, Dad for keeping us informed!


Erin: 31, Emcee. Witty redhead, handy with a whip.

DH: 30, Strong Man. Comedian, defender of virtue.

Halie: 7, Chimpanzee. Pulls teeth, loves bananas.

Catie: 5, Leaping Lemur. Gentle and cuddly, loves grapes.

Rosie: 2, Cappuccin. Flings poo, loves carrots.

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