Family Circus

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. - Doug Horton

Monday

Conversations with my toddler


Also called The 20 Questions Game. Every mom knows what I'm talking about. Usually it involves a child much younger than two years old. I'm always the exception to the rule: Rosie (aka Stinker) does not say more than a few words besides 'Mama' and 'Dada'. We've been seeing a speech therapist since August 2005, and there have been improvements. So when Rosie says "Muh" I'm not sure if she means more or milk. Since we have a safety gate in the opening to the kitchen, Rosie stays on the living room side while I'm actually playing interpreter/translator/sleuth on the kitchen side, trying to figure out what exactly it is that my mostly non-verbal toddler is requesting. I start with the basics : I quickly make up a glass of milk and attempt to hand it to her over the gate. My two year old's response? She grunts:"Uh-uh." Usually those grunts are followed by the pitter-patter of her little feet - running away in a physical rejection. I try not to feel insulted. Of course, as soon as I tuck her sippy cup back in the refrigerator and close the door, Rosie is at the gate again. "Muh!" she says. I flip through the memory microfiche in my brain trying to remember what it was that Rosie last had to eat or drink. Was it a carrot? No. Was it crackers? Nah. Maybe string cheese? Yes! That's what it was. I go to the refrigerator and retrieve a piece of cheese and offer it to my daughter over the gate. Again, she grunts "Uh-uh" and takes off like I lit her hair on fire. Darn! You know what? Sugar is the answer for everything, right? So, I tucked the cheese back in the refrigerator and went to the pantry. I plucked a Dum-Dum from the bin where I keep them, unwrapped it, and handed it to my daughter. She was nodding her head, saying "Yah, Yah, Yah!", and doing her little happy dance as she snatched the miniature lollipop from my hand. I may not have solved the mystery, but I won The 20 Questions Game!

CAST & CREW

Erin: 31, Emcee. Witty redhead, handy with a whip.

DH: 30, Strong Man. Comedian, defender of virtue.

Halie: 7, Chimpanzee. Pulls teeth, loves bananas.

Catie: 5, Leaping Lemur. Gentle and cuddly, loves grapes.

Rosie: 2, Cappuccin. Flings poo, loves carrots.

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