Family Circus

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. - Doug Horton


What to Expect From Your Parents

A book for toddlers to answer the inevitable questions that come along with the following issues that arise between toddlers and their parents. (Howdja like that run-on sentence? Wait. Don't answer that.)

Chapter One - Why your request is NOT an emergency:
  • Just because you are younger/older/taller/louder than your siblings does not mean you deserve priority.
  • Just because your parents do not grant your every wish does not mean that they do not love you - immeasurably.
  • A REAL emergency is marked by something or someone broken, bleeding, or on fire.

Chapter Ten - Why your parents lie but tell you not to:

  • They only lied initially about Santa Claus/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy to enrich your childhood fantasy life.
  • Yes, Jesus IS real. We cannot see Him but that's why it's called faith.
  • Rarely to grown-ups resort to calling each other names to embarrass each other when caught in a lie. Children routinely are heard, however, taunting : 'Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!'

Chapter twenty - How you came to be:

  • You see, when two grown ups really love each other...


Erin: 31, Emcee. Witty redhead, handy with a whip.

DH: 30, Strong Man. Comedian, defender of virtue.

Halie: 7, Chimpanzee. Pulls teeth, loves bananas.

Catie: 5, Leaping Lemur. Gentle and cuddly, loves grapes.

Rosie: 2, Cappuccin. Flings poo, loves carrots.

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