Family Circus

No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys. - Doug Horton


Cotton Swab Soup

Toddler Friendly and Parent Approved!

Recipe Ingredients and Directions:
1. Make sure bathroom has been freshly cleaned, and the toilet seat is up.
2. Slowly add entire box of five hundred cotton swabs to toilet water, stirring continuously with a toilet brush.
3. After five minutes, use a small disposable cup to sample quality of new recipe, being certain to spill 'soup' copiously on bathroom rugs and floor tiles.
4. Brew for five more minutes, until your mother catches you red-handed in her bathroom.

Helpful Hints:
Please be prepared to extract aforementioned 500 cotton swabs from toilet, using your bare hands. Don't expect any applause from your mother for your creativity. She has cleaned up many of your previous masterpieces, including fecal fingerpainting. The clean-up may take longer than the actual preparation did, but you will be expected to pull out every. last. swab. Don't try to take the easy way out by merely flushing. You will then have a flood AND cotton swabs to deal with. You might ask for a towel to wipe up any spills you made while 'sampling' your recipe. Your hands will be disinfected in the least gentle manner that mom can muster. Your mother will then sit you firmly in your chair to enjoy the lunch she was slaving over while you were in the back of the house testing your new recipe. Let me say this like your Daddy would: "Your recipe? NOT A KEEPER."


Erin: 31, Emcee. Witty redhead, handy with a whip.

DH: 30, Strong Man. Comedian, defender of virtue.

Halie: 7, Chimpanzee. Pulls teeth, loves bananas.

Catie: 5, Leaping Lemur. Gentle and cuddly, loves grapes.

Rosie: 2, Cappuccin. Flings poo, loves carrots.

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